I’ve been sick. It’s getting better, but I am sick of being sick. I also managed to get the girlfriend sick. Misery loves company I guess, and does the cold virus.

This has allowed me to watch way too many episodes of NCIS, so it’s not entirely a bad thing.

I threw out an offer (on twitter) to guest post on someone else’s site and was kindly taken up by @weirdenough (Barbara Bailey) and @mindofchester (Anthony Imperioli). Barbara apologized for not updating her site as often as she should, but that just means I get to park on her front page for a longer time! She also tend to write more in depth essays than most sites, so I can see why she has a reduced frequency of updates. Her humor is generally a bit more sophisticated than mine (this alone makes her site worth reading).

Anyway, I provided her with a letter I wrote to Amnesty International where I questioned the efficacy of letter writing. It’s subtle, but please stick with me here, and note the irony, since it was intentional. I hope you read it, hope you enjoy her site, and hope you leave a comment over there as well.

And in case you missed it (and are too lazy to scan the post one down) I did do a guest post on thezimp.mindofchester.com as well.

weirdenough.com

Somehow I’ve managed to acquire a twitter addiction. I can be followed @cjorgensen I am also @jackassletters The first twitter stream is just my personal updates, and since I tend to live the same day over and over again (I’m not complaining) it doesn’t get much updating. The second stream is related to an ongoing project I’ve had going for 253 days now. I send stupid letters to people and companies and see what kind of responses I get. This project can be found at jackassletters.com.

Well, while signed on as @jackassletters I threw out an offer to guest post on other sites, and @mindofchester and @weirdenough took me up on it. My guest post is up on thezimp.mindofchester.com and I will post again when the weirdenough.com article goes live.

Read my letter to The Archbishop of Canterbury. This is how it should be done folks. Dr. Rowan Williams has accounted for himself wonderfully. I am going to order “The Poems of Rowan Williams.” I am also going to send him some chapbooks of my poetry and an autographed photo of me! I don’t rightly expect he’ll care, but I still plan to do it.

My thanks to Anthony Imperioli (the man behind mindofchester.com) for hosting the article for me, and for creating this wonderful graphic:

(You can click it to go to the Archbishop post.)

I hope you enjoy reading the letter. Yes, I do know I am probably going to hell now, and yes, I also know I am dragging Anthony down with me. I see no reason for hell to be a lonely place.

I am no man of god,
but of broken glass and past tragedies.
More truth than lies fall from these lips.
I would lie to you if I could.
I would tell you of love that is not,
and sins uncommitted, damnation kisses,
and whatever you needed to hear.
I would seduce you with bad poetry and good wine.
Because every woman loves the badboy,
every woman lives for the dangerous,
but I have always been…too good.

But no more! I have given up my belief in disbelief!
Atheist no longer.
I live for salvation…for a need of forgiveness.
This life is now but clay.
Make of it what you will.
Your god is mine!

And, now, your parents will never approve.

Truly a bastard I will deceive to get what I want.
And what I want is you,
you harlot of Gomorra,
you bitch of the night,
slut of my nightmares,
saint without morals.
My sinning angel!

I sell my soul to a god that does not exist
   to get you!
Atrocity begets atrocity and you drip
   from my fingers
   as does your wetness.
And blood will tell.

Blood always tells.

An untruth untouchable by divinity. I do love you.
From our first awkward word to our last half kiss.
I love you!

Because I….

I am a man of god!

christopher…. ‘06

I’ve had this shirt for some time, and had this post mostly written for some time. I’m finally getting around to putting it up.

Seems you can get nearly anything on eBay. Who knew?

I made the mistake of going to eBay (I’ll trust you know the URL) and typing in “paisley shirt.” I then limited it to “men’s” and “XL” (since I am an extra large man). Oh boy. Such wonder. Such hideousness, such joy. Kid in a candy shop, twelve year old with a JCPenny underwear catalog (the portable internet of my day), a straight flush kind of joy! And don’t even think of all the ugly shirts that had no paisley. I could have spent hundreds of dollars here, since it seems like I am not the only one with this problem (I wonder if there is a support group?). “My name is Christopher, and I have an addiction to Ugly Shirts!”

Anyway, I won this shirt:

This shirt looks like someone beat me with a fractal. He’s a series of photos of me taken at The Des Moines Art Center with me wearing the shirt.

I could have had the below shirt as well had I been willing to pay $57.50 in real American dollars. Oh I wish, but nearly $60 bucks for someone’s used clothing? Some people will pay that much for a pair of women’s used panties, but those people are sick and wrong perverts, and my attraction to Ugly Shirts isn’t sexual (at least I don’t think it is).