I’m working on a book with @mindofchester (Anthony Imperioli). There’s that’s it. Almost short enough to tweet. But for the longer version keep reading:

As most anyone who follows me online knows I string sentences together like the best of them. I’d call it typing, not writing. I like playing with words, like trying to be clever, funny, moving, like to get a reaction. Usually this is accomplished by being an idiot. Sort of like masturbation it’s the easiest way to get off. I’d like to do more sophisticated writing, short stories, poetry and the like, but that requires a lot more effort, so I tend to just go for the quick fix.

I have a website dedicated to this very goal: jackassletters. So a while back I created a twitter account (@jackassletters) with the goal of promoting my letter writing stupidity.

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I threw out an offer (on twitter) to guest post on someone else’s site and was kindly taken up by @weirdenough (Barbara Bailey) and @mindofchester (Anthony Imperioli). Barbara apologized for not updating her site as often as she should, but that just means I get to park on her front page for a longer time! She also tend to write more in depth essays than most sites, so I can see why she has a reduced frequency of updates. Her humor is generally a bit more sophisticated than mine (this alone makes her site worth reading).

Anyway, I provided her with a letter I wrote to Amnesty International where I questioned the efficacy of letter writing. It’s subtle, but please stick with me here, and note the irony, since it was intentional. I hope you read it, hope you enjoy her site, and hope you leave a comment over there as well.

And in case you missed it (and are too lazy to scan the post one down) I did do a guest post on thezimp.mindofchester.com as well.

weirdenough.com

Somehow I’ve managed to acquire a twitter addiction. I can be followed @cjorgensen I am also @jackassletters The first twitter stream is just my personal updates, and since I tend to live the same day over and over again (I’m not complaining) it doesn’t get much updating. The second stream is related to an ongoing project I’ve had going for 253 days now. I send stupid letters to people and companies and see what kind of responses I get. This project can be found at jackassletters.com.

Well, while signed on as @jackassletters I threw out an offer to guest post on other sites, and @mindofchester and @weirdenough took me up on it. My guest post is up on thezimp.mindofchester.com and I will post again when the weirdenough.com article goes live.

Read my letter to The Archbishop of Canterbury. This is how it should be done folks. Dr. Rowan Williams has accounted for himself wonderfully. I am going to order “The Poems of Rowan Williams.” I am also going to send him some chapbooks of my poetry and an autographed photo of me! I don’t rightly expect he’ll care, but I still plan to do it.

My thanks to Anthony Imperioli (the man behind mindofchester.com) for hosting the article for me, and for creating this wonderful graphic:

(You can click it to go to the Archbishop post.)

I hope you enjoy reading the letter. Yes, I do know I am probably going to hell now, and yes, I also know I am dragging Anthony down with me. I see no reason for hell to be a lonely place.

I am no man of god,
but of broken glass and past tragedies.
More truth than lies fall from these lips.
I would lie to you if I could.
I would tell you of love that is not,
and sins uncommitted, damnation kisses,
and whatever you needed to hear.
I would seduce you with bad poetry and good wine.
Because every woman loves the badboy,
every woman lives for the dangerous,
but I have always been…too good.

But no more! I have given up my belief in disbelief!
Atheist no longer.
I live for salvation…for a need of forgiveness.
This life is now but clay.
Make of it what you will.
Your god is mine!

And, now, your parents will never approve.

Truly a bastard I will deceive to get what I want.
And what I want is you,
you harlot of Gomorra,
you bitch of the night,
slut of my nightmares,
saint without morals.
My sinning angel!

I sell my soul to a god that does not exist
   to get you!
Atrocity begets atrocity and you drip
   from my fingers
   as does your wetness.
And blood will tell.

Blood always tells.

An untruth untouchable by divinity. I do love you.
From our first awkward word to our last half kiss.
I love you!

Because I….

I am a man of god!

christopher…. ‘06

My jackassletters.com site got a little write up over on the metafilter users’ blogs site.

I expect great things will happen now!

I spend a bit too much time on metafilter. $5 seems to keep out most of the jackasses (somehow I keep getting to stay though), and it’s a fun place to get questions answered, find cool things on the internet, and to figure out how dumb you are. There’s a lot of smart people on there (again, somehow I get to stay). It was nice getting the write up.

I really want to redesign the jackass site, get more letters out the door, and get more letters online. I’d really like to try to promote it (sky writing, ad buys, dancing girls) and see where it can go, but honestly, I kind of thought it would have been shut down by now. I can’t afford to fight a lawsuit, so am just lucky I haven’t gotten one yet. Who knows, maybe if this ever did happen the EFF would take my case, the ACLU would raise a stink, and Al Sharpton would organize marching in the streets. This could be the best promotion ever!

Anyway, it was a nice write-up and if you haven’t checked out metafilter or my jackassletters you really should. You’re life isn’t complete until you have (and we should all strive for a complete life)!