Well, not dying any time soon.

This wasn’t exactly in question, but I was thinking it might be.

I haven’t been feeling well for a long while now, and it seemed to be getting worse, not better. I was popping cough drops like you couldn’t believe. I’ll be investigated for fraud when I submit the receipts for flex spending. No way a normal person could possibly eat as many of these as I was. It wasn’t impossible for me to munch 40 in a day. The package says “One every two hours.” Six was my minimum. I guess if I am going to abuse over-the-counter medication cough drops are the way to go, but still.

I had discomfort in my throat and difficulty breathing. I’m not sure what was causing either. My doc says it was some sort of virus. But I was not feeling well for months.

Good days, bad days. Everyone has some of each, but my goods were way outweighed by the bads. I don’t want to be dramatic, but I was kind of thinking that’s what it feels like when you’re dying. Well, not exactly. Not in like the final-hours-to-live sense, but rather in the it’s-only-going-to-get-worse-until-you-die sense. I’d get a day where I thought I was imagining everything, then it’d go all suck on me again.

My doctor gave me inhalers, but you had to use them 6 times a day! Um, I don’t do anything that many times in a day and I can’t keep track of the days of the week, so this wasn’t going to be a very decent option. Besides, like I said, I’d convinced myself I was dying, so some inhaler wasn’t going to change that! So I made another appointment with a second doctor for the proverbial second opinion.

The insane (and I picked that word deliberately) thing about seeing both these doctors is that I felt fine on the day of the appointment. Remember, I did mention I’d had some good days, but I’d get bad enough that I felt like I had to go, but by the time I could actually get in things were much better. I was starting to think it was all in my mind (and it still may be).

The most good days I’d previously had in a row were 4. This is day 5 of feeling fine. I’m starting to feel like it’s behind me.

I have another follow-up at the end of the month. I’ll have to come up with a way to explain that I didn’t want to do the inhalers.