To say I’m not a people person is a bit of an understatement. I am an extrovert though, so this kinda creates problems. I can deal with most people fairly well on a superficial level, but have few confidants. Which again is ironic in that I don’t have a problem living my life fairly publicly (just look at this site!), but beyond my closest circle of friends I’m not a big sharer. I am not a fan of crowds, but can get a feel for the flow and dart in and out as needed. I am also fairly big, so most people get out of my way at concerts and such. Let’s see, I’m a bit noise phobic as well, but like I just mentioned, I love music. And I love to be in front of crowds, just not a part of them.

I attend events occasionally where there are just way too many people for my tastes. Generally though, these are poetry slams or such, so I don’t really have to spend time with the unwashed masses. I generally get drunk and read. Other than the others readers, I don’t pay attention to much else going on around me. I guess I also talk to the people who come up to comment about something I’ve written, or chat at the regulars, but to nod and say “thanks” or whatnot doesn’t take a lot out of me. I also tend to float from stranger to stranger greeting and whatnot, but I never have a conversation of substance. I move on when I get distracted or bored. So usually now more than a minute spared for the random individual. I have a short attention…what was I saying again?

So does a non-people person function in a work environment? Well, there my role is fairly defined. I know how to interact with people when it revolves around something. For example I’d probably be fine at a book club, or a fencing club, or even a Mensa meeting (just kidding, even I’m not that pretentious). Actually any sociaal event based around something other than dancing, drinking, or awkwardly hanging out trying to make connections I can manage, but given my druthers (and why shouldn’t I be given them? I haven’t had a good druthering in some time) I’d rather just stay home, maybe read in the tub, maybe watch dramas in bed, maybe spend an afternoon napping and an evening with some wine and time writing crappy poetry.

People just aren’t that interesting or easy to deal with. And I am not taking some kind of position of superiority here, since I know I am only interesting because I am too odd of a duck to be normal. But to consider myself an ass wouldn’t be unfair. And few get close enough to find out if I am interesting or not. I am more likely to come off as a weirdo or creepy guy until you get to know me. Then you will find out that yes, I am weird, and can be creepy (but you act like that’s a bad thing!). I can be so very Addam’s family. And maybe I am overlooking the obvious. Maybe people are more exciting than I give them credit for, if only I would bother to get to know them, but there’s the rub. I can generally not be bothered. I don’t have enough time for the friends I have now, so why would I want more?

Maybe all of this is why I have such an internet addiction, why I feel most comfortable sharing things here rather than in person. People do tend to like me though. I guess brutal honesty and cynical sincerity can take a man a long way. Ha! Seriously though, I am just as big of an ass in real life. I like pushing buttons and challenging beliefs, I like arguing and debating and pissing people off. I like to offend and be offended. it’s amazing to me sometimes that I have friends at all.

I guess there’s just no accounting for tastes.