I’ve had this shirt for some time, and had this post mostly written for some time. I’m finally getting around to putting it up.

Seems you can get nearly anything on eBay. Who knew?

I made the mistake of going to eBay (I’ll trust you know the URL) and typing in “paisley shirt.” I then limited it to “men’s” and “XL” (since I am an extra large man). Oh boy. Such wonder. Such hideousness, such joy. Kid in a candy shop, twelve year old with a JCPenny underwear catalog (the portable internet of my day), a straight flush kind of joy! And don’t even think of all the ugly shirts that had no paisley. I could have spent hundreds of dollars here, since it seems like I am not the only one with this problem (I wonder if there is a support group?). “My name is Christopher, and I have an addiction to Ugly Shirts!”

Anyway, I won this shirt:

This shirt looks like someone beat me with a fractal. He’s a series of photos of me taken at The Des Moines Art Center with me wearing the shirt.

I could have had the below shirt as well had I been willing to pay $57.50 in real American dollars. Oh I wish, but nearly $60 bucks for someone’s used clothing? Some people will pay that much for a pair of women’s used panties, but those people are sick and wrong perverts, and my attraction to Ugly Shirts isn’t sexual (at least I don’t think it is).