There’s a helpful smile in every aisle at Hy-Vee, but all we got were confused looks from people wondering what kind of dumbass wants his picture taken in the produce section. I was going to pretend like I didn’t know English very well if anyone asked us what we were doing. “In my country, we do not have such, how you say, füd? America is wonderful!” But all we got was a woman who offered to take the photo so the girfriend and I could be in the same picture. We told her no thanks. I think I was the only one excited about the idea of having my photo taken with broccoli.

It’s cool this shirt just seems to blend in, like it’s produce section camouflage! If I had matching pants you probably couldn’t see me at all! Ok, think I am done with the exclamation points. Really.

There’s not a lot to say about this shirt, since I don’t remember where I got it, how much I paid, or any fun facts about previous names in it (there are none). Oh well.